It hasn’t gotten as bad as this (courtesy of The New Yorker), has it? I haven’t actually seen anyone tweet from the altar, but something tells me it’s been done.
Ooops. Maybe we’re there already.
And that’s because as a species it appears we’ve become incapable of being in the moment and savoring what’s going on right in front of our noses. OK, I know this sounds like a rant from one of your grandparents, but bear with me. This opinion was arrived at the old fashioned way: by watching the human race make fools of themselves on a consistent basis. We’ve reached a time in our evolution (devolution?) in which we can’t just see something. We are compelled to record it, no matter what the circumstances or the loss of the original experience. And we can’t just observe something. We have to comment on it instantaneously, putting our own feeble bleatings out into the ether for everyone to share (as if they have time when they’re busy letting everyone know what they think). We can’t just BE somewhere. We feel duty bound to tell everyone else on earth (as if they’re paying attention) where we are and what we’re doing. The bard (remember him?) said it best about all this human noise: “Full of sound and fury, signifying NOTHING.”
OK, enough blowing off steam. Why does this bother me? Let me give you an example. Not long ago I photographed a wedding in a lovely church, featuring a happy couple and adoring family and friends. As I took pictures of the bride’s dad handing her off to her husband-to-be, I noticed the groom’s mother in the first row, with her face up to her cell phone. She had taken video of the processional and was settling in to record the ceremony and the exchange of vows. Pardon me, but isn’t there something a little bit absurd here? This was her son getting married, not some distant cousin or a kid who lived in the neighborhood. And she chose not to watch her son get married. Instead, she was fixated on a tiny screen on the back of a small electronic device placed directly between her and her boy in the most important moment of his life. All her attention was focused (pun intended) on what SHE was doing, rather than on the wedding taking place right in front of her. And as soon as the vows were over, what did she do? What anyone would do, of course! She sat down to watch what she had just recorded, ignoring everything else going on in the church, even giving the relative right next to her that “Hey look at this!” poke with her elbow. And yes, they did have a professional videographer on the scene already.
I’ll admit it’s unusual (but far from unique) seeing a parent do this, but for other people it’s standard operating procedure. Everyone is taking and sending pictures (OOOOH, what filter should I use?) or texting and tweeting all the time no matter what the occasion. And a lot of the tweets aren’t true. When they type “Watching Cheryl and Matt get hitched!”, they aren’t. It should read, “Sending a tweet while Cheryl and Matt get married!” And that can’t wait until after the ceremony is over? Apparently not.
Did anyone actually see them get married?
I know this is a fact of life, so why bring it up? Because I think it’s still not too late to take some control over what goes on at your own wedding. If you don’t want everyone (even your mother) distracted by all the screens glowing and the thumbs furiously working the keypads, let people know. You can ask the officiant to announce you would prefer they pay attention to you and leave the recording and the commentary until later. Or is this a futile gesture?
What do you think? Would (or did) this kind of behavior bother you at your wedding? I’m not advocating a return to a pre-digital age, just a little consideration for the couple and their idea of what they want their wedding to be.
If you can’t beat ‘em, text ‘em!
My Pinterest and Facebook never tweet during the ceremony!
